I wouldn't have expected to draw the card of Cancer in life's lottery, but on June 14th, 2012, I was given the news of having squamous cell carcinoma in my neck (R lymph nodes), by Dr. Franz an ENT specialist in Fredericksburg, VA.
When I first heard the news, my whole world went silent and I remember I couldn't hear anything. I asked him to tell me what he said again, because I knew the words he had just leveled my whole being with, weren't good ones. I was scared. I was alone. I could only hear my heart beating in my head.
He repeated the same text book, emotionless, robotic-driven, citation from the lab sheet, and I knew then that his bedside manner was for shit...when I needed him to break it all down for me. They had to call my wife. I couldn't tell her..I was in pieces.
To recap from this point a little about how I got to where I am presently...I went to Dr. Raymond Banzon a GP in Fredericksburg, VA who told me around week of March 5th, (the bump on my neck wasn't there when I first went to see him) that I didn't have a chest cold (bronchitis--i am a smoker of 20 + yrs, and told him that!) and he wasn't giving me any medicine and claimed the mucus I was producing was blood from an ulcer in my stomach.(???)...then he orders a chest xray, blood work, ekg, stool sample kit (and...playing with your own shit at home is so much fun kids..) and none of those tests showed him anything.
On the morning of Saturday March 10th, I went to shave and turned on the light in our bathroom. There was this THING bulging out of the R side of my neck. It was about the size of a golf ball and worried me, so I drove to the urgent care clinic. The Physician Assistant who treated me, gave me a zithromax pack and told me it should take care of the chest cold I had, and this bump on my neck. (it was probably aggravated from all of the coughing she said. (thanks for assuming!!)
Four days later I felt better chest cold wise, but still had the bump and it was bigger now.
I went back to Dr. Banzon said I was all clear on all my tests, my HDLs were great, and "he couldnt figure out what was wrong with me because the test results were so great?!"
I showed him my neck and he took one look inside and diagnosed it a "swollen salivary gland" and told me to eat....REALLY SOUR CANDY, and specifically Atomic Sour Candy from Walmart. This would stimulate the glands to push out any possible stone, or trapped saliva. (and it would've, had that been the issue..)
I thought, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard...a Doctor prescribing CANDY, sugar essentially..Don't order a CT of my neck or anything to take a closer look inside though!! That decision isn't worth the trouble of your six figure plus benefits salary, or my life right?
Thanks for billing my insurance company for all of that fun lab work too, I had a blast keeping them off of my case for weeks with a non-pre-existing condition form, because you fucked up and didnt fill out the forms you were SUPPOSED TO!!
Just send me on my way with a magical Willy Wonka script for real sour candy...You got to bill Cigna for thousands...you're welcome "Dr.", thanks for the ride.
I ate "real sour candy", from mid March--middle of May.
My neck only got bigger and bigger...
After finally giving up on sour candy, I found Dr. Franz, who sent me to another specialist, Dr. Statler who drained the mass for biopsy, he pulled 20 ml out of the area, and sent this off for testing, for which it came back positive for squamous cell carcinoma. The area deflated after the aspiration, and about a day later it came back, just as big.
Over the course of the next few months, I'll take you through my experiences of getting to paradise, via a necessary detour through hell.
The road to UVA...to be continued.
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